Fran Sale Stafford

Self Restraint

restraint imposed by oneself on one’s own actions; self-control

I have none if certain food items are in the house. The solution has been to just not bring them in the house. Kettle cooked potato chips, chocolate, certain types of cookies. Hubby likes a sweet after dinner and chips with sandwiches, so what comes in the house is a variety that doesn’t tempt me. On Thanksgiving and Christmas, I bake him a pumpkin pie. He says my pies are delicious, but I don’t care for pumpkin pie, thus no temptation to me. I may be the only human in the world that actually dislikes Oreos, so another non temptation for me.

But, last year around Christmas, a friend from England, presented me with a small tin of Ginger Nut biscuits. That my friends was temptation that I couldn’t resist. Fortunately, there were only about a dozen. Hubby ate one or two, but preferred other options, so, yup, I ate them all. They did last a few days and each biscuit is small.

I haven’t baked cookies at the holidays since my children were small and wanted to “help.” And as we held an Open House for neighbors, friends, and coworkers, the dozens made were usually devoured without much damage to my health and waistline. But the receipt of the crispy, gingery nuggets sent me into “Google Search” land to find a recipe. The traditional Ginger Nut biscuits use Golden Syrup, not a product readily available in the USA. Yes it can be ordered online, in fairly large tins, but a large tin would not be used in a timely manner, so the idea was dropped. Until… the upcoming annual spinning group holiday gathering with snacks to share and a Yankee Swap game. My friend was contacted about the recipe she uses, which she gladly shared as it comes from a cookbook from the UK. I asked her if she had ever used Agave Syrup as she had said definitely not to use Maple Syrup and she had not, but she gifted me a small bottle of Golden Syrup from a recent order she had made from her supplier of traditional goods from her homeland.

Not wanting to wait until the last minute to try a new to me recipe, this morning, the simple appearing recipe was attempted. The rather small quantity of sticky dough is supposed to be divided into 16 equal pieces, rolled into a ball, slightly flattened and baked. I used a tablespoon to scoop out the first batch and ended up with 13. They were a success, so a second batch was tackled and this time, rolled out and cut into 16 pieces. There is now a tin of slightly more than 2 dozen Ginger Nut biscuits for the social on Thursday. I am going to have to hide them from myself so there are still enough for the party.

I admit to sampling the top right biscuit as it spread too much on one edge.

Now back to my self restraint tactic.

Rainy Winter Day

It was chilly and wet, not a day for a walk, but with errands that had to be done. The trash and recycle bins taken to the “convenience center” to be unloaded, packages and a card to be mailed. A box of gifts to be shipped. Chicken feed and wild bird food to be purchased. It seemed like a good day to see if the local tree farm where we often cut our own tree had any precut trees at the seasonal store. There were two, a very scrawny one and pretty little tree, much smaller than our usual tree for a room that can take a 12′ tree with ease and has in the past. This tree had to be of a size that I could manhandle alone to get it in and in the stand.

It was small enough to fit in the car and did not have to be tied on top in the rain.

Once home, placed in the stand on a plastic sheet, and the strings cut, it was allowed to drip dry.

And finally lit and decorated, using our large dried Starfish from a long ago Bahamas cruise as it’s topper. It has graced the top of our tree for more than a dozen years now.

It isn’t large enough for quite all the ornaments, but close. The very first one I hung was the first one hubby and I purchased as a married couple. It dropped from the tree and broke, which sent me into tears. It was glued back together with superglue, but though I tend not to be superstitious, I hoped it wasn’t an omen as hubby’s health continues to be a major problem. We hope that it’s repair means that the various medical specialists can repair him as well.

Our tradition, up until last year, had been to purchase an ornament together every year and years of significant events like the birth of a child, a second one added. Each one dated, if not already so, with a fine tip marker in a discrete place. A lot of joy comes from seeing the dates, remembering the time or event or where the ornament was purchased. Many of the more recent ones are from a local potter, a friend, and they were added to a wreath and hung from the hutch.

I have to admit, that decorating this year has been difficult, there have been many bouts of tears as hubby and I both know that there is a significant chance that this might be the last we celebrate unless healing is found. Today brought joy and several bouts of tears. Not all of the collection of decorations were used this year. There is a crate of Santa’s that will go to daughter. I held on to them this year without putting them up but they will go to her before she decorates next year.

The day ends with Christmas lights and fog in the hollows.

Hoping for many more with my love, but taking each day at a time and making the most of it.

A week of Thanksgiving and Frustration

Thanksgiving week in our lives is full of birthdays and family gathering. Five of us celebrate birthdays in a 9 day span, with one born on Thanksgiving Day and celebrating her 11th birthday this year again on Thanksgiving Day. Son 1 came for a week, preparing me a scrumptious birthday dinner and then offering to cook again another night, again preparing a gourmet meal. Grandson 1 came a few days later to be here for Thanksgiving. On the Sunday before Thanksgiving, we drove to Weathertop Farm to pick up our 19.36 lb turkey. Nearly a decade ago, after reading about spatchcocking chicken, Son 1 and I decided to spatchcock the turkey. The first time, we lacked the proper tool to do it, but managed and learned that it produces a delicious, golden, juicy bird in less than 2 hours cooking time and we have never looked back. Though I have managed to spatchcock a couple alone, it is Son 1’s “job” to butterfly the bird and rub the herbed butter under the skin, then he also is the carver when it is done.

As this year, granddaughter wanted Thanksgiving at their house for her birthday, Son 1 and I went over early enough to prep the turkey and for me to work with daughter to get the rest of the meal prepared together. Son1 and Grandson 1 went on a bike ride then returned home to pick up hubby and bring him over. Eleven of us gathered, enjoyed our meal and birthday celebration together.

Early, very early, the next morning, Son 1 was put on the bus to the train to go home to finish out his semester of teaching and working on a project for the Dean. And the following morning, early, but not quite as early, Grandson 1 was put on his bus home.

Today is Daughter’s birthday, the last of this flurry. She has to work all day, so we are going to take her to lunch tomorrow.

The birthday girls with another of daughter’s awesome cake creations for her girl.

Right at the time when eggs are needed in quantity for holiday cooking, the hens all decided to blow their feathers at once. The just cleaned coop has more feathers than wood chips at this point and egg production has virtually ceased. Two of the girls molted a bit earlier than the others, so one or two eggs about every other day appear, but I actually had to purchased a dozen and a half during the holiday to make pie and breakfasts.

Christmas decorating at our house is always on hold until after daughter’s birthday. It used to begin the day after Thanksgiving because as an educator, I always had a long weekend to get it done. As soon as she was old enough to catch on, she decreed that it had to wait until after her birthday, which only seemed fair. The snowman pillows, ceramic snowman, and sled were brought out already, the dried flowers pulled from my fall wreath and put in a vase and three carved wooden birds added to the wreath with a plaid bow, but other decorating will wait, maybe for a while. December is bittersweet for me. It ends with the holiday that represents family to me, but it is also the month in which both of my parents passed away. This year we enter December after 3 months of stress, doctor’s appointments, treatments, and pending treatments for hubby. Yesterday’s treatment was postponed due to a side issue, this is the second time that has happened. It should have been his last treatment based on the original schedule, but now he is only half finished with this round. There are still many appointments in our future with the various specialists. It has been a stressful and frustrating period for us.

Many months ago, our aging Mastiff reached a point where he could no longer manage the stairs and settled himself in the living room at night. He will turn 11 in 4 more days, very old for a Mastiff and he can no longer even get to his feet unassisted. A folded beach towel is used for me to assist him getting to his feet. About a month ago, the German Shepherd, who is a few months younger than him fell down the stairs and though she limped around for a day or two, still insisted on coming up when we were upstairs. In the past couple of days, she has fallen down all or part of the stairs 3 times, so a baby gate was erected yesterday to prevent her from coming up. This caused her, an already anxious pup, to be even more anxious as she paced around the living room and dining room for hours. Last night, she even urinated on the floor which she never does in the house. We had purchased the Mastiff a mastiff size bed last year. He uses it as a pillow with about half his body on it, but won’t get totally up on it. Last evening after I took her bed down to try to comfort her, I looked down to this.

She was totally up on his bed, he was resting his head on her much small one. I guess she will adjust to not being allowed to come up and it certainly will reduce the dog hair dust bunnies upstairs.

We continue on, taking one day at a time. That is all we can do. Decorating will happen to some extent when it happens, likely a much smaller tree and fewer shelf decorations, but some holiday festiveness.