Self Restraint

restraint imposed by oneself on one’s own actions; self-control

I have none if certain food items are in the house. The solution has been to just not bring them in the house. Kettle cooked potato chips, chocolate, certain types of cookies. Hubby likes a sweet after dinner and chips with sandwiches, so what comes in the house is a variety that doesn’t tempt me. On Thanksgiving and Christmas, I bake him a pumpkin pie. He says my pies are delicious, but I don’t care for pumpkin pie, thus no temptation to me. I may be the only human in the world that actually dislikes Oreos, so another non temptation for me.

But, last year around Christmas, a friend from England, presented me with a small tin of Ginger Nut biscuits. That my friends was temptation that I couldn’t resist. Fortunately, there were only about a dozen. Hubby ate one or two, but preferred other options, so, yup, I ate them all. They did last a few days and each biscuit is small.

I haven’t baked cookies at the holidays since my children were small and wanted to “help.” And as we held an Open House for neighbors, friends, and coworkers, the dozens made were usually devoured without much damage to my health and waistline. But the receipt of the crispy, gingery nuggets sent me into “Google Search” land to find a recipe. The traditional Ginger Nut biscuits use Golden Syrup, not a product readily available in the USA. Yes it can be ordered online, in fairly large tins, but a large tin would not be used in a timely manner, so the idea was dropped. Until… the upcoming annual spinning group holiday gathering with snacks to share and a Yankee Swap game. My friend was contacted about the recipe she uses, which she gladly shared as it comes from a cookbook from the UK. I asked her if she had ever used Agave Syrup as she had said definitely not to use Maple Syrup and she had not, but she gifted me a small bottle of Golden Syrup from a recent order she had made from her supplier of traditional goods from her homeland.

Not wanting to wait until the last minute to try a new to me recipe, this morning, the simple appearing recipe was attempted. The rather small quantity of sticky dough is supposed to be divided into 16 equal pieces, rolled into a ball, slightly flattened and baked. I used a tablespoon to scoop out the first batch and ended up with 13. They were a success, so a second batch was tackled and this time, rolled out and cut into 16 pieces. There is now a tin of slightly more than 2 dozen Ginger Nut biscuits for the social on Thursday. I am going to have to hide them from myself so there are still enough for the party.

I admit to sampling the top right biscuit as it spread too much on one edge.

Now back to my self restraint tactic.

Rainy Winter Day

It was chilly and wet, not a day for a walk, but with errands that had to be done. The trash and recycle bins taken to the “convenience center” to be unloaded, packages and a card to be mailed. A box of gifts to be shipped. Chicken feed and wild bird food to be purchased. It seemed like a good day to see if the local tree farm where we often cut our own tree had any precut trees at the seasonal store. There were two, a very scrawny one and pretty little tree, much smaller than our usual tree for a room that can take a 12′ tree with ease and has in the past. This tree had to be of a size that I could manhandle alone to get it in and in the stand.

It was small enough to fit in the car and did not have to be tied on top in the rain.

Once home, placed in the stand on a plastic sheet, and the strings cut, it was allowed to drip dry.

And finally lit and decorated, using our large dried Starfish from a long ago Bahamas cruise as it’s topper. It has graced the top of our tree for more than a dozen years now.

It isn’t large enough for quite all the ornaments, but close. The very first one I hung was the first one hubby and I purchased as a married couple. It dropped from the tree and broke, which sent me into tears. It was glued back together with superglue, but though I tend not to be superstitious, I hoped it wasn’t an omen as hubby’s health continues to be a major problem. We hope that it’s repair means that the various medical specialists can repair him as well.

Our tradition, up until last year, had been to purchase an ornament together every year and years of significant events like the birth of a child, a second one added. Each one dated, if not already so, with a fine tip marker in a discrete place. A lot of joy comes from seeing the dates, remembering the time or event or where the ornament was purchased. Many of the more recent ones are from a local potter, a friend, and they were added to a wreath and hung from the hutch.

I have to admit, that decorating this year has been difficult, there have been many bouts of tears as hubby and I both know that there is a significant chance that this might be the last we celebrate unless healing is found. Today brought joy and several bouts of tears. Not all of the collection of decorations were used this year. There is a crate of Santa’s that will go to daughter. I held on to them this year without putting them up but they will go to her before she decorates next year.

The day ends with Christmas lights and fog in the hollows.

Hoping for many more with my love, but taking each day at a time and making the most of it.